Some humor at Intel's expense (fwd)

Alex Portnoy (alp@nospam.ftoomsh.socs.uts.edu.au)
Tue, 6 Dec 1994 20:06:27 +1100 (EST)

Some humor at Intel's expense. . .

----------------------------Original message----------------------------
It IS Friday afternoon as I post this. cyclops

Dan Lester Internet: alileste@nospam.idbsu.idbsu.edu
Network Information Coordinator WWW: http://cyclops.idbsu.edu
Boise State University Library
Boise, Idaho 83725 In the kingdom of the blind, the
208-385-1235 one-eyed man is king. Erasmus. 1523

----------------------------Original message----------------------------
(This showed up in my inbox, and I thought you folks might appreciate
the humor, if you've been following any of the discussion about the
Intel Pentium bug.)

Q&A: THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.

Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
Pentiums?
A: The warning label.

Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.

Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply
is to:
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.

Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
585.999983605.

Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 754 and
854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft designed using
a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------

9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So
7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside